Monday, 3 August 2015
I didn't have the heart to carry on with my blog for a few months. It took all my energy to focus on doing my job, looking after my family and undergoing all the treatments that were necessary to give me the best chance of survival of breast cancer. Chemotherapy lost me my hair, radiotherapy knocked me for six in terms of energy levels and my feelings of positivity, and Tamoxifen (the wonder drug) has sent me shooting into menopause with hot flushes galore.
So writing about things I love here with any great conviction hasn't really been a thing I've wanted to do. But now, six weeks after my final radiotherapy and with my hair, eyelashes and eyebrows growing back, I am feeling much more normal and ready to get on with life.
I know I face years of tests and a reconstruction somewhere down the line, but for the moment I am happy to look in the mirror and to walk down the street without a headscarf. Little things have made me incredibly happy - the veggies growing in our vegetable patch, I could gaze at them for ages.
I am amazed and overwhelmed at the support I have had from everyone. Family, friends, work colleagues, clients - all have been absolutely amazing and one thing I really feel is that I am loved. We never really know this until something like this happens and I know everyone goes on about it giving you a huge sense of perspective (it does) but it's also about the small kindnesses from people you wouldn't imagine would be so supportive that make a difference. Even if it's just a message of support on an email it means a lot and has helped me enormously get through some really crap times.
Anyway it's time to move on. For the first time I have a wall calendar that doesn't say hospital/chemo/radio appointment anywhere on it. My next check up is the end of October so I have a bit of time to just 'be'. Here's to just being for the time being.
Sunday, 8 February 2015
So the BAFTA's had me riveted this evening. So glad The Grand Hotel of Budapest won 9 awards - one of my favourite films from last year by far. And Birdman which was fantastic too. I haven't seen Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything but I am sure he deserved his best actor - will have to catch it soon!
But it was the frocks which I really lovely this year - everyone looked fantastic. Stealing the show for me was Julianne Moore who not only won best actress for Still Alice, but makes older just chic and I so love a red head wearing red - so very stunning. She wore Tom Ford who knows how to dress a woman like a woman - sorry but a lot of designers just don't. I love this and she has a fab cleavage too.
Saturday, 7 February 2015
So my hair has started to come out with the effect of chemo for my breast cancer treatment. I could pull it gently and the whole lot just fell out - didn't need any pressure. So to try to take the weight off my obviously weakened hair follicles I decided to bite the bullet and get my husband to get out his clippers (he has a number 1) and take it all off. Well not entirely off but close to my head. I am so glad I didn't have to sit in a public hairdressers but did it in my kitchen with husband and one of my best friends to lighten the mood. And do you know what? Once again it's okay. I am shocked at how grey I actually am (years of colouring makes you delusional) and I have a great shaped head - am happy about that. So here you have it - my new look. Yes I look like an art teacher - but a damn fine one! And with sunglassed on I look quite menacing which will have it's useful moment's I'm sure. So here is the new me.
I have ordered a wig so I do have the option - with a wedding in a week I want to look as near to normal as possible - wedding photos have a habit of sticking around for years!
Thursday, 5 February 2015
So after surgery with scarring and nasty things happening I was on the lookout for a natural, organic deodorant that actually works and that is when I came across Soap Walla. This all natural, deodorant is a solid cream and you do have to use your fingertips to work it in. However you use a tiny amount and it is very, very effective. There is no getting around that when you get to a certain age, deodorants just don't work the same yet this one really does - so it's perfect for peri-menopausal and menopausal women. It isn't cheap at £14 but it goes a really really long way - I've been using it for a month and used about a quarter of the whole pot! It really is nothing like any other deodorant and has found it's way into beauty editor's shelves across the globe and Glamour UK voted it one of the best natural products on the market. It's from the US (where it is annoyingly $14) but I found it at A Beautiful World for £13.
Soapwalla has all natural ingredients including superfine vegetable powders, peppermint, tea tree essential oil, clays and lavenders. All these absorb moisture and really do inhibit bacteria - there is no smell even at the end of the day. It also doesn't have aluminium salts or parabens which may mimic oestrogen - and it's oestrogen that I really need to avoid! So it won't do you any harm but a lot of good!